God has blessed me with a daughter. After all my womb had been through…God saw fit to bless my womb with a life giver; a seed with a womb. She is the “brownie” of the bunch, the color of golden chocolate. Her hair is silky like mine in the front and wooly like Baba’s in the back. I ask her, “Purpose, you wanna rock a fro?” She squeals, “Yes!” with a sweet thumb sucker lisp. I take the Black fist pick and lightly fluff her micro fro. She is two and so happy.It has been very important for me to protect my daughter, my baby queen, from the politics of being a woman in this day in time. I mean she’s only two, but I make sure to uplift her all the time. I make sure she knows she is loved, protected and an honored part of our family. I make sure she knows she has a voice and is a beautiful spirit that shines. I provide her with empowering images, especially of women and I protect her from the media that destroys our young women before they really know who they are. The media that tells our daughters they are not good enough…that they need to be more to be whole.
I am currently working on a project for a Play Therapy class. Play Therapy is designed to be client-centered hands-off “therapy” for children 18 months to 11 years old. It is actually a very interesting class, and though my focus is counseling women, children are a natural extension of that. I am enjoying this class. The project is to build a portable play kit. The client, the child, will play without any limitations except some general ground rules, while the counselor observes the child's play. The play kit must have some specific toys in it like a baby doll, puppets, and toy cars. I have the majority of what I need, but certain things I needed to pick up to make the play kit complete. I have been traveling to all of the dollar stores, Big Lots and thrift stores around the city. Purpose gladly shops along with me, walking down the aisle and singing, “Ooooh, Mama! You see that?”
I have never had to look so intently at the toy section of these stores. Toys aren’t something I buy. Grandparents are usually the ones who go way overboard in the toy section. This project has helped me witness firsthand how many toys for little girls are not for Black little girls. I mean, where are the Black baby dolls? Where is the Black Disney “Princess”? Why is she not represented on all of the Disney Princess stuff? My daughter must have picked up 15 things today with the Disney princess quartet on the front of it. She sang, “Mama, Looka the Princess!” I said, “No, Cher. YOU are Mama’s Princess!”, but it didn’t sink in. The images were so powerful; my 2 year old sheltered daughter fell into the trap we ignore all the time. I took a break from my assignment to try my hardest to find a doll she could call princess. All of the dolls were white, and if I found one who was Black she was scantily clad and had way too much lipstick and eye shadow on. Her hair was nothing but the weave, and she didn’t look anything like my darling Purpose.
Where are the toys for her, a brown skinned, smart and strong willed sassy Mama’s girl? Where is the representation of a princess for her? I am so glad I wasn’t in there trying to find something for her because I would have walked out of all those stores empty handed. The baby dolls she has at home are preciously brown birthday gifts from Grandma and her first cousin, Maya. But what about for the other young Black queens? What happens when their Mama’s get tired of searching for a Black baby, or fall into the Disney Princess trap? As long as those pale faced, straight haired, thin lipped, frail framed dolls are her representation of a princess, she will never measure up. And what about all of the “Princess” birthday parties I’ve been to with a real, beautiful Black princess blowing out the candles on a cake with blond hair and blue eyes staring back at her! Now I know that we’re supposed to not care about the color of skin, but to be real, if these princess dolls represent royalty, what do the whorish-looking Black dolls represent? I mean, she’ll never be the princess no matter how hard she tries. What a young Black girl is IS beautiful, but where can we find a representation of that? It’s a damn shame.
MANTRA: Breathe and Let Light fill you. I will protect myself and my family from images that do not uplift us. I will create beautiful images to uplift my family and my community.
